(c) 2013-2014 'Safira B'
i.
i will become prettier:
a) i will have shinier hair
b) i will have clearer skin
c) i will learn to wear make-up properly
d) i will buy nicer clothes
ii.
i will let him go:
a) i will burn my old poems
b) i will rip our old pictures
c) i will stop wanting to see him
d) i will not let my heart beat to his name
iii.
i will live life without love:
a) i will not give myself away so easily
b) i will keep my heart safe
c) i will love myself first
d) i will not feel lonely at parties
iv.
i will be open to love and friendship:
a) i will write again
b) i will not chase anyone
c) i will let people go
d) i will not cry or be hurt
v.
i will think of more resolutions:
a) i can't keep using last year's ones.
the writing wing
[ a portfolio ]
Thursday, 2 January 2014
at the bottom of the ocean
(c) 2013-2014 'Safira B'
were you f o o l i s h enough to think
that i would be beautiful
when you broke me?
did you think that i would
break cleanly? that there would
be no jagged edges
screaming for your blood?
did you think that your
mocking laughter would slice
my brown skin into thin slivers
without me twining myself
into a noose for you?
did you think you could
make me trace the footsteps
of my ancestors; bathe myself
in gasoline and light the match
with your name on my cracked lips?
were you f o o l i s h enough to think
that i would be beautiful
when you broke me?
did you think that i would
break cleanly? that there would
be no jagged edges
screaming for your blood?
did you think that your
mocking laughter would slice
my brown skin into thin slivers
without me twining myself
into a noose for you?
did you think you could
make me trace the footsteps
of my ancestors; bathe myself
in gasoline and light the match
with your name on my cracked lips?
your eyes are not the ocean
and i will not drown
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
unbecoming, unbeing
(c) 2012-2013 'Safira B'
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be the smear of brown in a sea of pallid skin, to be
muddy brown eyes in a canopy of green and sky of blue, to be
small hips and short stretch of legs before miles and miles of pale, curving bodies.
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be the butt of the joke, to be
you look beautiful today and raucous laughter because
who could find me beautiful? what a laugh.
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be wrongwrongwrong.
do not tell me i should forget that
you taught me to love men with eyes as blue as the sky and
hair, curly and brown or golden, and
acres of white skin;
when no one ever taught me
how to bleach my skin
and how to stretch my legs fartherfartherfarther until i cannot see the ground
and carve the accent out of my speech
and wash my irises out into something glassy
and wish hard enough for my hair to be blonde.
do not tell me i should forget
when no one ever taught me
the trick to being loved back.
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be the smear of brown in a sea of pallid skin, to be
muddy brown eyes in a canopy of green and sky of blue, to be
small hips and short stretch of legs before miles and miles of pale, curving bodies.
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be the butt of the joke, to be
you look beautiful today and raucous laughter because
who could find me beautiful? what a laugh.
do not tell me i should forget what it means
to be wrongwrongwrong.
do not tell me i should forget that
you taught me to love men with eyes as blue as the sky and
hair, curly and brown or golden, and
acres of white skin;
when no one ever taught me
how to bleach my skin
and how to stretch my legs fartherfartherfarther until i cannot see the ground
and carve the accent out of my speech
and wash my irises out into something glassy
and wish hard enough for my hair to be blonde.
do not tell me i should forget
when no one ever taught me
the trick to being loved back.
blinding
(c) 2012-2013 'Safira B'
it is the gompang that beats through my veins
thunder and lightning realisation racing along my spine
the bright sun on the couple walking from nikah to their car
the groom clad in blue baju melayu
it is the sounds of my home that remind me
you do not want to be here.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
social unlearning theory
(c) 2012-2013 'Safira B'
dear society,
'behind every great man is an equally great woman'
i never thought you'd take that so
literally?
regards,
g
dear society,
'behind every great man is an equally great woman'
i never thought you'd take that so
literally?
regards,
g
Friday, 3 August 2012
make ends meet
(c) 2011-2012 'Safira B'
we live our lives waiting to die
they say
i'm living my life,
waiting for you
(is that a kind of death, too?)
but isn't it morbid,
to start with the end?
but what are you and me
but a collection of loose moments
and words
and touches
and accidents? (i didn't mean to love you
you don't mean to let me.)
should i talk instead about how you
feel like
sunlight
taste like
the rain
on my skin? does that make it easier for you?
(we have enough endings by now
to start something new.)
sword clash
(c) 2011-2012 'Safira B'
i have been fighting for the longest time
enough wars to make your hearts break
[dawn and dusk
mother and father
sibling and child
; the darkest of all crusades
the most righteous of all jihad ]
i would fight a thousand more
a thousand more
if i could fall like a star
or angel
(there isn't too much of a difference; both are so far away)
into you
; my home.
(heaven,
jannah)
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